frumladygit and SmartTeen
I have heard shiurim and read up on Chessed. In a nutshell Chessed is doing something for someone who needs your help and who can’t do it on their own. However if someone is being lazy and is using you that is most definitely NOT chessed andis an AVEIRAH, that’s not a typo, its an Aveirah to help someone who is using you. It is Assur to use another person and by letting them use you, you are an accessory to the Aveirah. Don’t let others manipulate you into doing things for them. Its NOT Chessed! Think about it, if someone has a sickness that they manipulate and use people, if you “help” them when they ask for something you just reinforce their sickness of using others. Again, Chessed is only when they need assistance with something they can’t do alone or 100% help with something they aren’t capable of doing.
In your case she has Bachurim who have a Mitzvas Kibbud Av Vaem. They have to go shopping for their mother, or some other relative. If your daughter does it once its a chessed, everytime is 100% using you. Tell this friend ad kan. She’s draining you and you must look out for yourself.