Reply To: When does doing Chesed become called "being used"?

This is a difficult situation. It would be different if you had a car but for her to expect you to run around the city on the bus is almost chutzpadik. It would also be different if she had no family. Just because her children are boys does not mean that they are not capable of doing some of her errands. Granted she can’t expect them to buy personal items for her but picking up some groceries or returning items are within their expertise. It is nice that she will “repay” you unexpectedly but sometimes that just doesn’t cut it. Perhaps the kindest thing that you could do for her and her family would be to set up a “household” schedule for them so that all of her family members know what is expected of them weekly. She cannot expect you and your daughter to be her personal assistants. Another thing, could you refer her to the Jewish Family Service or whatever it is called in your city. They often can send a person once or twice a week to assist in the home. To make her and her family more self-sufficient would probably be the biggest mitzvah and act of chesed. I know that you are in a difficult position but you cannot continue to run 2 households or you will burn out.