Theprof1 is hitting the nail on the head. We don’t have shtarke working boys anymore, at least not on the scale of a generation ago. Chances are the kind of working ben Torah whose kids are in shidduchim now will not find a son in law like him unless said boy ends up learning much longer.
And because learning after marriage is becoming so prevalent, one is not considered shtarke unless he plans to learn for at least “a couple of years.” They say this so cavalierly, not thinking about
– whose expense is this coming at
– the fact that if they’d look around many of the klei kodesh, maggidei shiur, etc. now started in their fields after five years in kollel.
Five years used to be considered long term. B”H we’ve had our years of plenty here to be able to come to a point where we can take things for granted… except we can’t anymore.
It’s a problem.