Do you think I’m throwing away a big mitzvah of hachnasas orchim? “
No. No one has to be insulted in their own home, especially when they are being kind enough to invite someone whom no one else wants. There is no excuse for biting the literal hand that feeds you, so if someone is a guest and chooses to be boorish and insulting to the host or hostess, there is no chiyuv to invite him back.
I have never made a guest feel unwelcome – far from it – my children’s friends have always looked to our home as a home away from home, and we like to make ALL our guests feel that way. But if they embarrass our children (as one foolish male guest did regarding one of my daughters, to whom he made an extremely personal comment about her figure) or make inappropriate remarks that are meant to bait us in a confrontational manner,
they are not asked back. What makes it most difficult is that often our Rov asks us to host these people, and I do not want to tell him why we don’t want to re-invite them.