Reply To: What does it take to be a ben torah?

Thanks to all those who posted. There was no “set answer” I was hoping to see, and all the ideas / comments are on the mark.

Sac – You should show your post to you father (Very touching, really)

Poppa – The purpose I had in mind was to get people to start thinking out of the box. For a bochur who was reported to be ” a great boy with good middos”, yet get nixed as a shidduch prospect needs to have our community start asking how did we get to this point.

Not to say we should brick up the entrances to all kollelim, nor should we force everyone to start wearing a blue shirt. But the mindset of the yeshiva crowd is in need of some fresh air.

Lastly, ShloimaZalman – I did not mean to box out the MO. In fact, I’m quite close to a YU grad, who has smicha, yet wears a knitted yarmulka and wears colored shirts. But he is not the BMG poster child, presumably the model someone looking for a “learner” has in mind. Not academics, not pnimiyus. The shnidt that makes the neighbors say, wow.

Still, its the choice of the parents and young couple. I just want the rest of the room to get the fair shot they deserve.