11 years ago during Shiva for my father O’BM, one of the “comforters” asked what he had died of. A liitle background: I never met this person before he was engaged to a friend of my wife. I replied that he had a heart attack. This person told me that I was wrong because “nobody dies of heart attacks anymore” I said my father did. He started to argue with me – yes he started to ARGUE WITH ME! Well, I was the mourner and I felt that I had some rights so I started to stand up so that I could throw him out of my house. My Rav came in about that time and quickly defused the situation.
4 years ago during Shiva for my mother O’BM, someone started peppering me with questions and advice on “how to mourn” additionally, when other visitors would come this person would berate them for not comforting the mourner properly or would accuse them of speaking loshon Hara. I left the room and requested that my wife follow. I asked my wife to tell this to leave and not return during Shiva.
In a separate post I will write what visitors brought comfort and what they did.