there were many that brought comfort. in most cases just by walking in!
once again, a little background. I was on my way to take my mother O’BM for chemo. I stopped to get a coffee and as the pot was almost finished, someone reached in to take it. in a display of poor behavior, I snapped at the person. B’H, I came to my senses and apologized to the person for snapping at them explained my poor behavior. we introduced ourselves and each went of us went our separate ways. A few weeks later my mother was niftar and this person saw it in the Yeshiva weekly newsletter. He came to my house and just his walking in, showed me that he cared and that meant a lot to me.
Another young man could not come, so he visited on the phone. Once he was in Yeshiva in the US and once he was in E’Y and he took the time to call both times – that says I care more than he probably realized.
my experience was that those that came and were not talking (sometimes nervously) to fill the silence or to swap Shiva stories, but were just being there, were the most comforting AND it didn’t matter if I was close to the person or barely knew the person.
maybe someone should open a thread on tips when paying a Shiva call, but then again, who said what worked for me is what others need or desire.