At the shiva, some idiotic woman who noticed the mother’s heart wrenching cries, piped up and said ‘You will have to learn to be ‘mekabel yisurim Bahava’!
That is a certifiable moron. People really should be given lessons on who to be menacheim aveilim. I had an old family friend paying a shiva call when my dad O”H died, zing me with a personal and insulting remark about my appearance that was thoughtless in the extreme and cannot be repeated here. she probably thought she was being helpful. Another person came when my mom O”H passed away, and informed us that my sister had been an extremely ugly baby and she didn’t know how she could possibly wish my parents mazel tov on the birth and really mean it. She was not joking when she said this. FTR, my sister was a stunningly adorable baby, the nurses’ pet of the nursery. and kinehora still is gorgeous. I have always maintained, when you don’t know what to say, SAY NOTHING. Better to remain silent and risk being merely THOUGHT to be a fool, than to open one’s mouth and remove all doubt.