Hashems Princess, I also believe in hishtadlus.
I turned down every shidduch suggestion that came my way even “the great guys who are going to be off the market really quickly.”
I had zero interest in getting married and settling down. I wouldn’t have started dating if not for meeting my husband on my own. I didn’t do blind dates. I turned down every guy who asked me out. I had zero interest.
Until I spent time with my husband.
So I would have blocked myself from dating. That’s the point you are missing. We do have control over our lives and I would have gone in a different direction.