“OK, no presidential election this year. We’re going to decide which electors we will appoint.”
No state has done this since the 1860 election.
“They could also appoint themselves, and the Governor, to lifetime positions as legislators and abolish elections for state office.”
The US Constitution prohibits this as was mentioned above.
“The winner would be pres, and the runner up would be vice pres.”
That actually was the system in the first four Presidential elections. Read about the election of 1800 and you will see why it was changed.