Reply To: Shidduchim a LESSON FOR LIFE!

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theprof1
Participant

Bitochon in Hashem is definitely both an outcome and a prerequisite for a shidduch. So you could say that the reason for anything is bitochon: children, life, parnoso. Yet each concept has its particular raison d’etre. A Shidduch is the process that Hashem established to bring a couple together, what the Torah says is v’dovak b’ishto, to become a family unit. After the aveira of eitz hadas, Hashem punished humanity with the curse of be’zayis apecho toichal lechem, humanity has to work hard for parnoso. Yosef said to Potiphar’s wife that her husband denied him nothing except “halechem asher hu ochel” the “bread” that the master ate, a euphemism for his wife. So we see that “bread” is used by the Torah as both parnoso and zivug. Chazal say that “kosho zvugosom ke’krias yam suf” and also “kosho parnesoso ke’krias yam suf”. Both parnoso and shidduchim are likened to krias yam suf. Just as krias yam suf was dependent on bitochon, so are parnoso and shidduch dependent on bitochon. Just as krias yam suf was each shevet turning in an arc around and through the sea, and therefore one shevet walked longer and the rest shorter, so too is a shidduch sometimes a long process and sometimes a short process. Chazal also say that the parnoso of a family is dependent on the actions and prayers of the wife. Hashem connected parnoso and shidduch at the very beginning as part of the punishment of humanity for the sin of eating the fruit of the eitz hadas. Bitochon in hashem is the tikun and atonement for that sin.