Sjs: I’m hardly interested in knocking you, what I stated about hashkafic influences in ‘Some’ parts of MO world is actually reality (as poshuta yid is also in agreement with), no matter how much you would like to be in denial.
Getting back to the point, I don’t have any interest in knocking Non Jews either; I stated clearly that Non Jews might very well excel in Middos/Good at Bein Adam L’chaveiro, like the good examples of your Protestant friend (gossip, charitable, fine person), however it is almost impossible for them to reach feelings of spiritual elevation through their Faith alone, since Christianity lacks the core belief that doing good deeds and/or refraining from doing certain deeds creates angels that ascend to Heaven and bring upon an actual closeness to God himself. This belief conveyed to us throughout the Torah is the catalyst for us Frum Jews to create within ourselves (from our youth) a spiritual dimension, which gives us feelings of spiritual elevation and satisfaction throughout our lives when we do a mitzvah/refrain from doing an aveira.
Your post clearly leaves out any recognition of the spiritual feelings/satisfaction that all frum Jews feel to one extent or another. The truth is one’s FEELINGS not KNOWLEDGE are at the core for the motivation of all Frum Jews to Believe in Judaism and the Torah. For all those people that you know, who claim that their intellectual pursuit is what drives them OTD, I herby claim with all confidence, that the real reason for their confusion is actually the weakening of their spiritual motivation, caused by too much exposure to the secular world and harmful spiritual pitfalls that occurred to them thereafter (yes, segregation related!).
I do however agree with you that the chareidi world can use allot of perfection in the middos/bein adam l’chaveiro area. However, to disregard/negate the area of bein adam l’makom/spiritual elevated lifestyle that the Charedi world excel in, is simply a very biased and untruthful judgment.
Poshuta Yid: I agree with you that the Chareidi world can do better in college educating more segments of their population.