There seem to be several concerns running through this thread.
1: Inappropriate “mingling” of married couples. A question in hilchos ishus.
2: The jealousy created when one compares their spouse to someone elses. A question of shalom bayis.
Question. When the torah wants us to share our Yom tov, with the “Ger, Yasom and Almanah” did the torah not know that the Almanah was the opposite gender of the man of the house? Did the torah not know that yesomim belong to both genders. Does the torah want us to do away with chessed because of concerns we may have? Of course not. The torah wants us to do this chessed in the appropriate manner. Unsure what is appropriate? Ask your Rav, dont assur hachnosas orchim. If it isnt really hachnosas orchim, rather a way for the guys to get together and hang out and make a lichayim, while the women do whatever it is women do while their husbands are busy making lichayims, then it is laitzonus disguised as hachnosas orchim and against the torahs wishes anyway.