Aishes chayil I.T.: Let me stress that I wasn’t suggesting you engaged in any such behaviors. I just wanted to try to get in the head of people who have reservations.
About difficult parents: when my kids were young and dating, I was especially concerned about family. There are so many challenges that I figured, if it was the right one, it wasn’t the right time; I wasn’t going to have them start off with such a challenge. By challenges I mean messy divorces with triangulation or abuse, “intact” families that would be much happier with divorce, etc. But at any point, I would have gladly welcomed a BT with a healthy family situation and good relationship with his/her family.
I think that people are using immoral not to mean any existential issues but having engaged in risky behavior, or grown up in an atmosphere where the options were there (i.e. many public schools). And amoral is completely off track, check your dictionaries, folks.