Tooperfect, I would never want such a “catch” as a son in law.
And while there is merit in accountability, and possibly some sort of meritocracy, I do know men who have simply sat and learned, not going on to a shteller, a shiur, etc., possibly becoming an informal shoel umeishiv, writing sefarim on inyanim they attained bekius in (yeah, lots of $$$ there), and more. They’re not all bitter and feeling impotent.