GOOD WAY TO SAY NO WITHOUT HURTING FEELINGS:
Try saying “We really appreciate that you thought of us, and for all your efforts, but we feel this shidduch is not compatible. Many thanks. Please try us with other names”
A little episode that happened to me persoanlly a few years ago.
I had been married for 6/7 years, and was flying to NY. At the airport a gentleman came over to me – I did not know him personally. He asked me my name, and then proceeded to tell me that his wife wanted to suggest a shidduch for me whilst visiting New York. I told him “No problem. I must first check with my wife and kids!”
He soon enough ran into his little corner, quite embarrased.
Is that a good way of saying no?