80% of molesters have been molested themselves. Unfortunately, in my line of work, I’ve seen both sides of this horrible coin.
Children lie. Women in divorce proceedings lie. Over and over. It’s sad. But the Torah’s standard is golden; I refuse to destroy someone’s life on the say so of a child.
But I will install hidden cameras. I will profile the accused. I will do a background check (if I haven’t already, as a responsible employer). I will get the child a full examination by a rape nurse, and obtain whatever physical evidence I can.
Heck, I will ask for identifying marks and follow the guy into the mikvah ( I haven’t had the zechus, but I know someone who arranged a PI to do so).
90% of the time, you can get what you need that way. You are obligated to look. But if you don’t find – don’t you dare destroy the man’s life, wife , children, career and future. As oomis illustrated – how easy it is to destroy someone’s life. Think Salem Witch trials.
And of course, if you have two children – in different classes, or different schools, etc. (because kids unfortunately do work in groups some times) – or three – well, it’s time to get the wood burning. Or the molesters.
But it’s not enough – the mere say so of a child – to deliver him to the police, whom have vindicated the guilty and jailed innocent too many times.
And what about once I have evidence? 80& of molesters were molested themselves. I spoke to a Forensic Psychologist who described child molesters as addicts. Ohel even has an anonymous line for them to get help (treatment is available). Of course, the potential molester will have to go into another line of work. Like coal mining. In new zealand.
Once upon a time we had hoped that it would be enough to approach a molester and say “you will quit your job. you will leave the community. you will never teacher youngster again – or else”.
That didn’t work. Molesters lie. Molesters know the game, of statues of limitations and the fear of the victim to step forward, and the community humiliation that will be heaped upon him. Molesters are victims, just like abusive husband were abused. Our first concern is the wife. As Aries pointed out , though they were abused themselves – they are very cunning ( I suppose the word evil is appropriate as well).
But if we don’t have a child willing to testify – what exactly can we do? If we go public, we get busted for libel, because we don’t have legal proof. And if we get proof, a principal needs to weigh that against the destruction of his school. Ouch.
Ultimately though, those are risk you need to take – if you have proof. But it ain’t easy. What do I really wish for? For these cases to be dealt with quietly and permanently – that when an underground beis din has sufficient proof – to end the problem, by any means necessary. My grandfather A”H told me that’s what they did in Europe.
That’s why I think Agudah’s opposing the legislation removing the statue of limitations on institutional liability was a good idea. Because schools will be willing to come down on an abuser much quicker – if it doesn’t mean the legal destruction of the school.
Again, you can’t purely rely on a child. But a smart school – or even private PI firm – which works based on confidentiality and is not obligated to report it’s findings to the government – can usually figure out what really is going on.
Getting somebody’s internet records is relatively easy with a little know how. And trust me, if he did something to a child, you’ll see it in his internet usage. But you need correlation before you destroy someone.
Etc., etc. And from all of this you can see why the system doesn’t work so well. Yet.
We need to educate our schools on profiling, and investigation. And the guilty? Hang’em out to dry.
As far as using goyish courts, we are permitted to use to get something done that we can’t in Beis Din. Beis Din simply does not have the power to stop a molester. If we have the Halachic standard of proof that this man is a molester, the next stop is the DA’s office. The Halachic imperative is protect the child. From any definition, it is Nezek. Any Nezek, which does not cease – we may do whatever is necessary to stop the nezek (Avid Ish Din L’Atzmay). Nevermind if it reaches the stage of mazilin b’nafsho. Even without that, if Beis Din cannot stop it (the most they can do – is order him to stop it! and a Yareh Shamayim he’s not) – they we must get the police involved, and assist however we can.
But we should cry after we do. Because the Torah is commanding us to kill a sick yid. True, it is what we must do. But at least – let us cry afterward, for the victim hood that made him a monster, for the system that didn’t save him from his abuser.
Let us not say “no rachamus” – after we’ve protected his victim and future victims ( by all means necessary!).
Let us help his wife, children. Let us not make them community pariahs – for what have they done? And if he has truly done his time, and takes up gainful work in mining in New Zealand – let us let him rebuild his broken life and broken soul (though quietly watch him carefully).
Aries –
While I appreciate your passion for these children – I believe in the Halachic process. I don’t believe in Doctors. A doctor will shoot first and ask question later, because he’s obligated to report anything, and wants to cover himself.
I think the approach of running to the police first will destroy innocent lives – no less of a crime! I have a lot of firsthand experience – which I wish I didn’t have – ( as it seems, you do as well), the nitty gritty type, with victims and abusers – and the innocent. The “take the decision out of your hands” approach will hurt more then it save.
Though I agree with you that we need a better system them we have now (Chicago’s abuse Beis Din is a great idea) – your approach would have had oomis’s husband behind bars, had he not had others there.
In summary, we need an internal system with teeth.
And Rabbonim are not malachim. Maybe if there income wasn’t constantly based on the whims of the board members, they would be able to take more risks. If we want real independent Rabbonim, we need to make a system for such.