Our Neshamas are part of H-sh-m, so the seeming contradiction to me, would be why
H-sh-m would separate the Neshamas from himself, just to earn the right to be reunited as a reward.
It does not bother me that we must become givers, but to set up the Universe such that suffering ‘must’ be part of it seems to me, to be the opposite of giving and kindness.