What “seems” to be mesiras nefesh for one might not be mesiras nefesh for someone else. For one woman mesiras nefes is giving up her own washer dryer or dishwasher. For another it is giving up her housekeeper. For one man mesiras nefesh is giving up his own car or his leather seats. No one can judge what something means to another person and what mesiras nefesh means to another person.
For some young people “mesiras nefesh” means leaving their family behind or not having their mothers around especially when they give birth. Or not being able to pick up the phone and speak to either their mother, their sister or their best friend whenever they want to. For another it might be not being able to run down to the corner for a grocery item they forgot to buy. For a young man it might be not jumping into his car to get to yeshiva or chap a minyan on the corner. Or maybe even learning with his father or with his best friend.
Not everyone was cut out to learn all day, and for some young people go to shiur only part of the time is a big accomplishment and if their parents choose to support that it is between that family. If that couple gave up their family to be masir nefesh to just go to learn part time in E”Y then for them it is masir nefesh.
The point as always is “what is the point of judging other people and why do we have to?” No one knows what goes on behind closed doors or the reason why people do things. Everyone has their reasons and everyone is judged by Hashem no one else should be doing the judging. So why should we mind their business for them, and why should we even speculate about them.
If we want to discuss how we are moser nefesh, or how our parents are moser nefesh, or how people we know are moser nefesh that is great to give them that recognition. But why do we have to sink so low as to discuss people we know or see that are not living up to the standards that we set or to standards we would like to see. What is so great about US if WE do that and what is so great about doing that?