the controvercial aspect of the mitzva tontz is the part where the chosson and kallah dance together in public . the kroivim and the rebbbes dancing in front of the kallah is a minhag in almost all of klal yisroel for many many generations and should not be part of this discussion . as fo the mitzva tontz itself , there are a number of theorys . one is that in the olden days the custom by the goyim was for the bride and groom to have a special dance together . ( as is the custom today ) that dance was considered the highlight of the weddindg . the level of erlichkeit by the amei haaretz was not very high and the rabbunim saw that they would be able to convince them not to do the dance at all , so they decided to make sure that it does not get out of hand , and that at least only the chosson and the kalla dance , rather than everyone else joining in , they decided to stay for that part of the wedding too and appoint an erliche person to provide the entertainment and bring out how holy a wedding really is . that ceremony being that it turns a would be pritzus into a spirtual affais is indeed a special time ( if i have time ill write another pshat later )
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