I understand what you’re saying but what I would suggest is to try to look past the negative and focus on the positive. While easier said than done, try to realize the points you mentioned are bumps in what is a beautiful life of being a Jew.
I think also the fact that you would take off for Yamim Tovim, put on tefillin, and even check this site shows that you do have a desire (however small) to stick to the religion.
“I want to one day want to be frum”
I wish you luck and hope this day comes real soon!