Dear Clever –
I read and re-read your post, and am glad that I did. From what you wrote, its obvious that much soul-searching and insight went into your post. While each point you noted deserves comment, I will focus on one in particular.
You said that one of the links you still maintain is YNW, and coffee room in particular. While I cannot comment on what is said on YNW as a whole, (as I rarely visit the general site) the CR is where I spend a good portion of my day. That said, you are correct; there is petty fighting and name-calling. But for every teaspoon of divisiveness, there are buckets full of supportive and caring commentary to be found among us as well. True, the critical voices make more noise and ruffle more feathers, than do the voices of reason and sympathy, but we do our part to heal and help as best we can.
By the time you reach my post, there have been more than 20 replies, so that in and of itself, shows that when we hear the call for help, we respond.
You taught us a lesson worth learning.
Thanks, and I look forward to your future posts.