Mamarochelcry
You shouldn’t give a darn what people say. Especially if you are truly an independent thinker as you say. You are contradicting yourself as Mod-80 pointed out.
There is no shortage of people who talk Loshon Hara, today its about you tomorrow its about someone else. Don’t give in to the pressure of Shadchanim. You have to be true to yourself and to who you really are inside.
If you do what you are supposed to then Hashem will take care of you. I would recommend that you should have some Rebbetzin that you respect to give you shidduch guidance because its not as simple as we want it to be and sometimes we need someone older wiser and more experienced to bounce our thoughts off.