Reply To: Can You Say "No" If….

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#720106
tzippi
Member

You need to find out about the divorce, make sure there’s not abuse or triangulation (yes, I know, “intact” families can be just as dysfunctional if not more) and see how the kids deal with the parents now. There will always be a rough adjustment time but if the parents worked in the kids’ best interests, if they are decent people, and the kid has minimal if any baggage (carry-on accepted, unresolved baggage is not, ever), go for it.

If the situation is more complex, but the kid checks out wonderfully, you have to ask yourself if the kids are up to managing this. If they’re very young, it might be too much considering all the stress marriage entails during the adjustment period. In which case you might want to tell the shadchan it might be the right one but not the right time.

And aries, if this isn’t the first post-divorce chasuna what about finding out how the other chasunas went. I have been at a number of such chasunas and they went off well. And I don’t know how often people are actually dealing with two sets of machutanim.