You’re 100% correct. Its better to ‘show your white teeth’ by smiling and making them a feel a mentch. Most ppl have maaser money anyways and are only gonna give a small amount so whats the big deal. Smile and give it. The guy probably prefers a smaller amount given where he feels treated with sympathy that a larger donation where he’s belittled or embarrassed in the process. The problem is that a tiny minority of meshulachim do give the others a bad name. One was once collecting for his child’s chassuna and i gave him an appropriate amount which he wasnt happy with. He began shouting at me ‘I have 9 other kids at home. Do you know what that means?’ This annoyed me so i said back ‘yeah it means you’re gonna be back another 9 times…’
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