For some reason I am not nearly as offended by this as others, certainly not enough to personally attack the OP.
I have done some of these things, and I would do others if I could. But I can also laugh at myself. No, my kids do not own a litter of stuffed pigs. If I were fortunate to have two freezers, maybe I *would* have one fleishigs and one milchigs.
Maybe the talmid taking three steps halfway out of shul is trying to get away from the guy coughing and sneezing all over everyone?
Buy a movie ticket?? That’s what makes it funny. Google Docs? That’s actually a great idea, although I would just use good old Word…
I guess I would add, never say “Good Shabbos” to anyone, even when out of town and only passing 5 people walking to/from shul, but note I didn’t accuse one person of doing this – it seems to be an in-town “thing”.