yb123, very smart;)
AZ, can u please name those roshei yeshiva and gedolim who are trying to enforce this “boys marrying earlier” situation. i keep saying that they will never do that, but if u’d be able to name some (or at least say which yeshivos are trying to get their boys married earlier,) i’d be interested to know!
i always here that 20/21 yr old guys are too immature to date. (btw, i already started another thread about this, i’ll havta find it) if parents would get their sons ready earlier, than maybe they could get em married earlier. parents can’t just look at there son and say oh he’s only 20/21- not ready yet. did you even try? did you ask him if he is interested in even starting to think about it? do you know what his views are, have you even discussed the topic of marriage with him? or is it taboo until he goes to Israel for three yrs and then comes back three yrs older? i happen to know of a boy and girl who just got married, not chassidish, but totally frum AND THEY ARE BOTH 19!
also what makes anyone think that girls wouldn’t mind pushing off marriage a little? (i mean in general. i know some wouldn’t mind, but at least they are well prepared, for the most part) truth is, i don’t see why any boy would agree to date earlier, although that disagrees with what i wrote in my first paragraph.
ultimately, while i agree with hudi and shtarky, i still believe we must do our hishtadlus, which is different for everyone depending on their level of emunah. like, of course i’m looking, but i’m young and not pressuring myself over it, and if anyone asks (besides for the fact that it’s not their business) i just tell them seriously that Hashem knows my address.
if i’m wrong about something, criticism is welcome. it could just be a learning experience for me.