OOmis – Believe it or not, I understood your post the first time, but you didn’t get my point. I actually have two teenage daughters, so I’m very cognizant about what you are saying. I also can’t comment about single’s events -being I’ve never been to one. I doubt I would ever go, it’s not done in my circles. I never thought about the halacha as far as attending, but I’ve posted here in the CR many times that I don’t feel it’s wrong for a boy to just meet up with a girl without a shadchan.
Back to my point -the easiest way to stop this behavior is for the girl to come right out and say “No, thank you, I’m not interested”. This I believe is the best way from a Torah perspective because the man will understand if he continues he is doing something wrong. It’s also best for the girl, even though she might be uncomfortable with this approach, because she won’t start harboring resentment towards this guy. This in itself is ossur because of “Lo sisna” (Hating in your heart) and also she might come to be Oiver LH! So in my opinion, it’s better to be “rude or hurt his feelings” than coming onto hate or speaking bad about this fellow!