Reply To: 2nd Foster Child is a Choson

Professional –

Regarding Yichud. The psak we received from Rav Ulman. There is no mitzvas chinuch regarding yichud, therefore, so long as the children are below bar bat miztvah, there is no issue from there side, and as far as our chidren who are below bar-bat mitzvah age.

On a personal level we didn’t have too many problems since we have a large family, and for part of the time my in-laws, mostly my father in law, since my mother in law past away almost immediatelly after we started caring for her were living with us. My father in law passed away two years later, but that’s another story. We also had some other people living with us, who were mostly adults, who needed a family to take care of them as well, again that’s another story, and there were yichud questions as well. Generally speaking I was usually in town, however, the heter of Baalah b’ir is not so clear in this specific case, and my wife was generally at home.

There are lots of practical solutions. Homes with two doors, and a possibility of locking from both sides may help. Living in apartment complexes like in E”Y can also make things easier, if you can make agreements with neighbors. You need to learn the halachas well though. Our living room was visible as well. In Bnei Brak, you pretty much live together with your neighbors. This helped as well according to Rav Ulman.

Regarding foster children with no major issues. If you or anyone else wants to go into the field, you must be prepared for difficult times. One of them was violent at times, and he was also dangerous to himself. In a few years we were in the E”R 5+ times.

Fortunatelly both of them have been very succesful, and got excellent shiduchim, but you never know where things are going to end up.

I used to shutter watching DZ cross the street, and Purim time, wow that was a blast, he blew up a peice of firework in his hand, and almost lost a few fingers. He made a neder never to touch them again, which apparently he kept.