“Once I was eating a meal somewhere together with about 15 other guys.
The host said something to me about expecting me to say a dvar torah. I said I preferred not to.”
I agree. When a ba’al bayis insists that a guest say a dvar torah and doesn’t take a polite “no” for an answer, he borders on the obnoxious. It is perfectly legitimate to politely decline for whatever reason. Not everyone enjoys public speaking,and not everyone has a “wow” dvar torah prepared for the ba’al habayis who just loves to test these boys.
A pet peeve of my wife is the seminary girl who always “brings a friend” and the two of them sit at the table whispering to each other throughout.