The feelings you are having are so normal. Unfortunately, everything that happens is going to be hurtful, because you are really in such a vulnerable position. It could be that if he would stop in, you would feel, like doesn’t he think I had a hard enough time with shiva and people stopping in all the time, doesn’t he realize that our family needs a little privacy, a little space. Different people react very differently and it is impossible to have guidelines that work for everybody in such a tragic time. Regretfully, everybody walks this tightrope of wanting to help, and not knowing what to do. I am so sorry for your loss, it is a terrible heartbreak to lose someone you love, but unfortunately, there is not much that anybody could do. Share your feelings with your siblings, cousins. Recognize that your sensitivity comes from the sadness of the situation. You are very cared for, I am sure many friends are agonizing and wondering if they should bring up the subject, or if it will make you feel bad….it’s not that they don’t have feelings-they are just not sure about what to say – May Hashem help your whole family through this time, and may you only see Simchas!
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