BD”E May you only know Simchos from now on. When one suffers a loss, everyone reacts differenty, some people feel a need to remember the Niftar all of the time.They are always relaying stories of that persons life, challenges, successes etc.That keeps the person alive in a certain sense. “Tzadikkim, afilo B’misosom nikraim Chaim”. By constantly remembering the Niftar it reinforces their beautiful lives. That is the main reason for Shiva and being Menachem Avel.
After Shiva is up, people still have to deal with each day in their own way. Some deal by forgeting, and others by remembering.
If you have a relationship with the Rav, go speak to him, tell him that you are still hurting from your loss. Ask him to guide you into recovery and help you grow.
No one will replace that grandparent that you lost, but speak to your parents, siblings, aunts & Uncles to help you. May Hashem give you the Siyata Dishmaya to overcome the pain & relive the good times & joy of that granparents life.
Eclipse, I know of a Bubbee that would adopt you if you would like!