ROB, the problem with the chumros is when people begin to believe the chumrah IS the halacha, and that the kula is clearly an avoidance loophole to get out of doing the REAL halacha (which I know for a fact is the negative connotation several posters in the CR think, when they hear “kula”).
How do you decide what is a chumra and what is a kula? I categorize it by learning the sugya and determining what the halacha should be according to the normal rules of p’sak. A chumra is when one is more stringent than necessary, a kula is when one follows a (legitimate) lenient opinion which, although not “standard” (I know, that word is much too vague) can be relied on in case of need. Both (IMO) are often abused.
I’m not sure how anyone can know “for a fact” what someone else is thinking, especially if they don’t say it.