I wanted to have a small ceremony in a shul in Venice. It would have been a fraction of the cost, but I was denied.
Wolf, if its seperate seating, we usually decline (the spouse who isn’t friends). Sometimes we decline with mixed seating because its just too expensive and annoying to get a babysitter.
Honestly, I think people have to start self policing. It doesn’t matter if your friend has 16,000 people at her wedding and got 47 karats of diamonds. get what you can afford, takanos or no takonos.