Since I think that this thread is coming to an end, I feel it safe to summarize that my experience has taught me that having a Kesher to a Rov would indeed increase success of marriages, as long as both parties share true Emunas Chachomim. The caveat that I would stipulate is that both parties have to tie their loyalty with the same Rov (not that each goes to their own Rov and gets differing Hadracha) and that they start the process as soon as they are engaged (if not earlier, if Shaalos come up before engagement). Which Rov to select is beyond my ability to say, but the entire issue should be spoken out during the dating process. In my case, it is clear that we should have selected the Rov from my family’s Kehilla (i.e. the Gadol who told me not to eat from the in-law’s kitchen when he said “their Kashrus is not our Kashrus” very emphatically) since I was the one that was being “asked” to let down my standards and eat from a less “Kosher” kitchen than had been in standard in my parent’s home. Clearly, it was incumbent on me (the most impacted one in this situation) to get a P’sak from the Rov who knew my family and I should have made it imperative that the other part honor this. Perhaps the policy should always be that the couple use the Chosson’s family’s the Rov or his Rosh Yeshiva etc. Any ideas?
Menu