As a community, standard of living has risen. So yes, a ton of people have cleaning help. But they shouldn’t because they are living on tzedaka and don’t need it to survive.
There are a lot of ideal that schools preach. Learn full time, stay at home moms or moms as teachers, give a lot of money to tzedaka, volunteer your time with bikur cholim etc etc etc. Many of them are mutually exclusive. If your husband is learning in Kollel and the wife is a SAHM, barring family support or government services, you will starve.
I don’t know what schools you send your kids to (and maybe that’s a boys school thing) but none of the schools I went to had dinner service.
What you are missing is that for every dollar you don’t pay, someone else is paying. Would you take $500 from a tzedaka organization to go on vacation under normal circumstances?
If everyone really tried to pay for tuition, either rates would drop or money would be given (by rich donors) to other causes.
If the attitude is that people work to support family, not tuition, then tuition is NOT a priority. There are other options you know…not as ideal as a yeshiva setting, but definitely options.