I very sweetly turned to her and made it very clear to her that “this isn’t hers to give away”.
I assume you mean that you would threaten to not pay for the wedding if she didn’t walk down with your husband. I don’t know how else you could enforce your will.
I also don’t know why this would mean enough to you that you would disown your daughter over it.
If my parents threatened to not pay for my wedding unless I acceded to their demands, I would probably just give in, but if it was part of an ongoing abuse of power, I would probably just make myself a small wedding and forget about them.
I’m glad it didn’t have to become that with you. It’s nice to be on good terms with your kids and know your grandchildren.