Stam63: I have definitely been in the stop and start crowd. I truly enjoy my learning, and if I may be a bit immodest – I am quite good at it, but with many other obligations, it is often hard to maintain a solid comitment to koveah itim. Unfortunately, my attempts to force myself to comit by engaging chavrusos failed – mostely because my chavrusa had the same problem I did.
I have found that the best solution for me is to (1) Have a substantial substantive project to work on, (2) Make sure that the time est aside for learning can be reasonably maintained as part of my schedule, and (3) Not try to overdo the time commitment so that I can comfortably say to my wife and any others that have demands of my time, “I’m sorry, but for this time of the day I just can’t do X.”
When my schedule was lighter, my project was to write a volume of essays on chumash based on the ideas of R. Samson Raphael Hirsch, a project to which I committed my weekday mornings (I spent my afternoons working, and weekends were entirely for my wife). I never completed the project to my satisfaction, but the goal kept me disciplined for well over a year. More recently, I decided to get smicha in Choshen Mishpat (I am a law student, so the project has special interest to me). I found a structured program that I could work through at my own pace, found a time to do it (5:20-7:00 each morning), and made sure that the time i devoted to the project would not interfere with my other obligations to my family. I believe very strongly that being koveah itim is MY obligation; I have to make sure to learn seriously and regularly. But that obligation does not give me an excuse to disregard or neglect my many other obligations. Consequently, I am compelled to cut into my sleep and personal relaxation time in order to learn without it seriously inconveniencing others.