Why do I have to go to someone’s home and see an “I LOVE U” note on the fridge.
Ah, so now you want to dictate to me how I am allowed to decorate my home and not.
How about this: If I put “I LOVE YOU” up on the fridge, it’s not meant for you. It’s meant for my wife. That you happen to visit a week or two later is really incidental and inconsequential. It’s not put up for you and (shocking, I know), we really had absolutely no thought at all of you when it was put up.
There are only a few select people who we really mean to see it — each other (obviously) and our kids (so that they might have a model for seeing ways in which couples can express love for each other).
Personal spouse relationships are private.
Some aspects of it are, some less so. Or is it your contention that, in public, my wife is no more than my roommate?
The more pple openly feel the need to have to display their notes and openly talk about the love btwn them and their spouse, the less confident and the less they probably love eachother.
I beg to differ with this bit of “conventional wisdom.” I would not be surprised to find that there may well be some people who put on a display to fool themselves about the security of their relationship, but I highly doubt that you (or anyone else) has the data to actually make the general case you are making.
I also suppose that, by the same token, you think that photographers who display their work are not secure in their abilities, athletes who play in public don’t believe they’re any good and actors and actresses are all secretly convinced that they’re no good and are just looking to reassure themselves.
If you are confident with your relationship you dont need to convince others.
Not everything that other people is meant to convince others. If I mail a card to my wife with “I love you” on the outside envelope, I’m not trying to convince the mailman that my relationship is secure.
The Wolf