I think people grow and mature each year and therefor they need to re-evaluate their lists. It seems that although they mature their lists don’t seem to budge much. But lists are not all that realistic. Just as they are not the same at 25 as they were at 18, their lists should not and do not reflect the same person they would need at 25 as they needed at 18. If someone wanted a “learning boy” at 18 and finds themselves at the age of 27 and still not married, then maybe they should rethink that. How many 30 somethings are still sitting and learning and not moved on to support themselves? I have a family member in this situation and it is painful to watch that the list hasn’t changed.
You have to be realistic at some point and look for a honest and true baal torah and mitzvos even if they are working who you can encourage to learn more. Who wouldn’t want a hiatus from their job to get in an extra year or two of learning? Or just someone who has really learned wholeheartedly and successfully and lives and breathes Torah in his daily routine? Once you hit a certain age, life becomes reality and you move on whether it is your dream or not.