i’m not into this settling business; unless you mean something different than i think you mean.
1. marriage is hard enough as it is – to marry someone of whom you feel that you settled does not make the prospect of a happy marriage look promising.
2. people really do marry what they need – so if a person truly knows who they are and their list is truly in accordance with what they need, people tend to marry more or less what’s on their list.
3. in terms of wants, some people get more of and some less of what they want.
so, i’ve seen people always got their needs, though picture might be a little different. (ex. the height, his/her background – if it wasn’t a need, etc.)
so, it comes down to same thing again and again. i believe (from my experience) that:
a) people need to know themselves
b) they need to identify the things that they (not their parents, friends, teachers) really need and their wants
c) be able to express in words to everyone in the world what their needs are
d) if after a legitimate amount of time doing maximum hishtadlus and tefillah, to be more flexible in the wants section and only look at needs
and nobody could know for someone else what is a need and what is a want – even things like looks and/or money could be a need. (i don’t recommend it), but must be very honest with yourself.