Wow! i’m so impressed with all of you who are making changes.
it’s not so simple for daughter to not listen to mother, especially, when technically can be considered halachichally ok, at least in mother’s mind.
rabbeim always give ba’alei teshuvah advice as to how to approach their parents and deal with situations even when the kids are halachakially in the right. it’s much harder (or at least different) when mother is frum and “thinks” she’s right. have to deal it with chachma and delicately. as oomis said, best is respectfully have heart-to-heart talk. then, in other areas, be extra careful to show tremendous kibbud av v’em, and show that you still respect their opinions and want their advice.