looking2grow – thanks for all the compliments! 😉
you’re right about where i live.
sometimes can tell in the shiur (depends on the type) if they’re quoting a certain person a lot. or they’ll put in something like, “i’ve asked rav so-and-so” and he said. or i’ve heard, “i discussed this with my father” and father is a gadol or something.
can ask different questions to different people based on their shiur and see how they answer. wouldn’t ask big question to a bunch of people, but if can narrow it down to 2, might get different outlook on the situation. halachic issues – can’t shop around. but this seems like a hashkafic/halachic issue so need to find someone who can understand you and understand your family and be able to give you the appropriate advice. so, here, the asking of more than one person is your means of finding the right “rav” or “rebbetzin” for you.