pba: are you saying that the parent/teacher getting upset that kid didn’t respect them is due to bad middos and not l’shem shamayim?
if so, of course.
but if, you’re arguing, that kid does not have to have respect to parents, etc. – i disagree.
(though i don’t believe respect necessarily means doing everything an adult says; the way some adults use it. kids do, at times, have a right to say “no”. i.e.they do not have to choose to help their parents every single time when asked.
i wouldn’t call that “lack of respect”; just that child is using their bechira to decide that they don’t feel like helping right now. parent can decide how to get kid’s help, but it’s not lack of kavod for child to refuse UNLESS they do so in disrespectful way (calling parents not nice names,etc.)
and, yeah, if they are chutzpadik, that is a “bein adom l’makom” problem; but, parents do have responsibility to teach children both “bein adom l’makom” and “bein adom l’chaveiro”.