Is there anything in particular TO BE GAINED by them attending?
Yes, there is… your ex-husband’s happiness. He wants them there and unless there is some real, overriding reason for them not to be there, they should.
Look at it from the other side… suppose it’s you getting remarried? Wouldn’t you want your kids there? And wouldn’t you feel angry if their hypotheically-custodial father said “no, they’d rather go to Toys R Us?”
The Wolf