The time to have the $ discussion with the Lakewood kids is not when they are 3 years into the game.
Its when they’re in HS.
Ask my kids: How long / how much is your father going to support you?
Answer: 2 years, at the rate of monthly tuition.
They know it, my mechutonim will know it.
That’s what I can live with, and I think its quite fair. And as long as its known upfront, the happy couple can make their plans accordingly
(And If they think I’m bluffing, they’re in for a surprise. I’m not)