Although this has been mentioned, I feel the need to say it again. There are THOUSANDS of young Kollel couples in Lakewood. I only know a few of them, so I cannot speak for everyone when I say that no one who I know “demanded” anything from their parents. Some are supported, some are not and really on the wife’s income, etc. Those that get support are very appreciative of their parents, and do not “demand” more and more. If a parent wishes to support a child learning, Kal Hakovod! If not and the child still chooses to learn in Kollel, they make it work a different way. (For the record – I never lived in Lakewood, but my husband did learn in Kollel, we were not “supported” nor did we get any government assistance. I worked at a decent paying job, and we lived simply. My parents did pay for my graduate school, although I know others in similar situations who even did that on their own via loans)
Unfortunately I’m sure the situation described here exists, as when you have such large numbers you get people with good middos and people with bad middos. If you took a group of thousands of working couples, some would have good middos and some would have bad middos, too. Kinah, taavah, gaavah are not unique to the Kollel community! I don’t disagree that this is wrong. I am objecting to the fact that everytime this discussion gets underway there is an underlying tone of many of the posters that “many” if not “all” of those sitting and learning are schnorrers with bad middos! How can anyone feel comfortable saying such motzei shem ra on huge numbers of individuals who are truly moser nefesh to keep the world standing! If you want to discuss the minority who do meet this description, please be careful as to how you say it.