I know this is *asking* for flaming, but I’ve always been a sucker for punishment.
Many of us like to bash the Reform and Conservative movements for their lack of halachic observance. I’ll even grant that criticism for some of those people may indeed be deserved. But the vast majority of them did not grow up with (Orthodox) Torah values at all and cannot be expected to want to keep an Orthodox lifestyle. As such, I think that instead of bashing them, we should try to encourage them whenever possible.
Example: The vast majority of my extended family is not frum. Nonetheless, they are “devout” Reform Jews. They attend their Temple every Saturday, they observe the holidays (even the “unpopular” ones like Succos & Shavuous) to some extent. They maintain *active* Jewish identities, including sending their kids (at their own expense) for Hebrew and Judaism lessons.
Are they completely halachic in their observance? Sadly, no. Yes, they don’t keep Shabbos as you or I might. They eat non-kosher. They even go mixed dancing. I’m not saying that we should endorse or even condone such things. But we should acknowledge what they do keep and encourage them to continue doing so (and go further).
We should be acknowledging that they maintain an active Jewish identity rather than give it up entirely and completely assimilate into the background.
We should be acknowledging that they take the pains to sometimes eat kosher and keep at least some aspects of Shabbos and the holidays.
We should be acknowledging that they give tzedaka to Jewish causes (even if they aren’t always Orthodox Jewish causes).
And that’s what I do with my family. I don’t harangue them for driving to shul on Shabbos. I don’t yell at them for eating non-kosher. Instead, I tell them that it’s wonderful that they’re having a seder. I tell them that it’s fantastic that my cousin sends her kids off to Hebrew school twice a week after public school. I smile broadly when they tell me about the sukkah they built for their Temple and about their plans to use it.
It’s easy to bash people because they aren’t as observant as you or I. And, again, I’m not saying that we have to accept or condone non-halachic acts. But I’ve always been a big believer in the concept of catching more flies with honey than with vinegar. I think that if we spent more time praising the positive rather than bashing the negative, we’d all be much better off.
Flame away.
The Wolf