my friend actually told me that she read an article (in binah i think) that although, yes, in shidduchim the hashkafos have to agree with each other and the personalities are something to take into consideration, one important part of shidduchim is emotional needs. i didn’t read the article myself, so it’s a little harder for me to explain what she was telling me, but basically the author of the article said there are four types of emotional needs. the first one is someone who needs to be shown love and appreciation (ex: with a gift from spouse, would like a meaningful note to come with it). the second is someone who has a very giving nature, the person who shows the appreciation, but does not feel a great need to be shown appreciation. third is someone in between the two (likes to be shown appreciation, and is very giving and appreciative of others). fourth is someone who has very few emotional needs, someone who is more practical minded (will say “ok this is what happened and this is what needs to be done” without emotion getting in the way)
you have to read the article, but what i’m trying to say is, the personalities won’t necessarily be the same, as long as they meet each other’s emotional needs.