Reply To: How to remain neutral with the boys in college

Yenting yenta and tbt – I did give the cold shoulder, and I think it helped, but I don’t want them to get the impression that frum jews are rude people. I need to figure out how to have a professional, no mess relationship.

gavra and mytake- I haven’t told them that I don’t touch men for religious reasons. The muslims (there are one or two), i think, realize this. My problem is the typical american guys that really haven’t got a clue. And your teacher just happens to pair you up with them for a group project. How do I go about telling them. How do I initiate the conversation. Is email ok, or too nonconfrontational? should i just email all the boys?

gavra – I don’t think I should feel free to be friendly. Im not initiating any conversation here. obviusly, I dont ignore them when they talk to me. but im not going to joke with them etc.

a pashuta – the ring idea is a good idea. Ive heard of men being advised to wear a wedding band in the face of women in their law office.

Pashuteh Yid – I agree with you to a point. what you are saying can apply to any secualar person. you can be friendly, but never too friendly. I’m speaking specifically about men that you don’t want to be friendly with. just neutral. Also, I’m not trying show them how wonderful yiddishkeit is. Im trying to show them what it’s *not*.

The questions I have for everyone are how to act professional and how to tell them that i’m shomer negiah.